titanic
10.05.98
The
Santa Anas are blowing today. High pressure over the
Great Basin pushes air south, squeezing it through the
mountain passes into L.A. Friction and compression heat
up the winds to make the air dry and the people edgy.
Waking
up to the sounds of tree limbs scratching the house and
distant doors slamming and dogs running loose always puts
me in mind of when these same winds blew through when I
was a kid. Some of those days stick in my memory because
I awoke not only to the howls of the wind but to the
smell of smoke. The brushfires that sweep across Southern
California run concurrent with the season of these winds.
Where I lived then, the mountains and foothills were to
the east and on some autumn mornings the sunrise would be
a gold or brown or dark dark red depending on how close
the fire was. Wed stand in the yard, orphan trash
cans rolling by, and watch the flames spread toward the
sea. Every once in a while thered be a finger of
black smoke curling up and across, a sign that
someones house was just lost.
On one
such morning in December of 1967 my father got me out of
bed early, but there was no smell of smoke. In fact,
there was no fire at all. Just the wind. We got in the
car and drove west to the beach, and I remember it being
so strange to see the ocean that early, the sand and
waves still in the shadows of the hills we were driving
along. Traffic was heavy as we got within sight of
hundreds of boats out on the water. We finally found a
place to park on one of the hilly residential streets and
walked a couple of blocks to where we could see the water
again. Trash was blowing everywhere, baggies and used
napkins and milk cartons, all getting pushed to the ocean
by this hot wind. People were just standing around on
their porches and sidewalks, some had set up lawn chairs.
The trees were wild, leaves and branches tearing off,
palm fronds whoomphing in the hard wind. Out on the water
the white caps, millions of little bright poofs thrown up
by winds and blown down just as fast, must have been
rough on the boats.
Then,
from the left, she came into view. Escorted by a flotilla
of pleasure boats, the Queen Mary came cruising by on her
final voyage. Red and
white and black and huge, her majesty was in her size. I
can still see that long low line she made across the
horizon. The ship was like nothing we'd seen before, and
we all knew it was the last time anyone would see her
this way, with a bone in her teeth, before she slipped
into captivity in Long Beach.
Yesterday,
I took Viv and Amy down to that same beach, not for any
final voyage, but just for some fun on the sand and the
pier and the waves. We were down in Orange County to
visit my parents again. Wed already spent the
night, having spent the previous day watching them spend
their lives watching television. I know we were there so
that Amy could spend some time with her grandparents, but
there comes a point where either you succumb to the
stupor of inactivity and meld with the Holy Trinitron, or
you go to the beach.
And the
beach was gorgeous yesterday. The waves were enormous.
The offshore winds hadn't started yet. The summer crowd
was gone. The pier belonged once again to the old
Vietnamese folks with their rods and reels, looking to
catch dinner. It was a perfect seaside day.
We'd
told my parents we'd be at the beach for a couple of
hours, a promise I wished we hadn't made. We didn't want
to go back to their house. We wanted to play.
I've
mentioned before how trips back to that house are
difficult, and this won't be the last time I mention it
either. Trust me. I go on and on about this because,
well, it just feels better than not talking about it.
When I keep it bottled up inside it just sits there and
turns hard. Like cider.
Before I
can go back inside the old house, there's a process I
have to go through. I put on a kind of psychological
diving suit, check my gauges, and submerge with as much
fresh air as I can carry. This way I can slowly sink down
to the shipwreck, quiet and calm. Sure enough, sitting
there in some air pocket are mom and dad, just the two of
them moving around amid the debris, playing the music
from the voyage and drinking what's left of the
champagne. Through the years rescuers have come down and
offered to bring them to the surface, but they refuse.
Which is fine. They booked this cruise themselves.
* * * * * * *
As I write this now, the hot dry winds
continue, and fire now has put smoke in the sky to the
east. But the forecast is optimistic. Relief is in sight.
So says the Holy Trinitron.
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Today's
Music:
"Facing West" -- Pat
Metheny -- SECRET STORY
Wisdom of the Day:
"Call me Ishmael."
- Herman Melville
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